Wednesday, 16 April 2008
Last night, the Sprout screamed for what seemed like forever (including so bad she was coughing), woke up the moment I left the room, and still ended up sleeping with us, because the night before....
She woke up in the middle of the night and though perhaps she would go get herslef a glass of water... or something. Either way, she crawled off the bed (no damage done, except maybe to my sleep)
ajd and I are both sick, which does not make this an ideal time to do this, but it needs to be done, even if we are doing it late. Our fear is that it won't ever happen. So what do you do? How long do you let her cry? We can get her back to sleep, but she doesn't stay that way. She seems heart broken about the whole thing. In fact, this morning, I caught her trying to put a Nuk in a couple of stuffed animals mouths. Stuffed animals in her crib. Like she's trying to say, "so they leave you alone too? You poor thing, have something to suck on to make it better"
I need strength, I need advice, I need to know I won't be permanently be damaging her ability to trust.
6 comments:
All the moms I know either like "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" or "The No Cry Sleep Solution"- but I have a good sleeper so I don't have a lot of personal experience. (*knocks on wood* and hopes child will enjoy sleeping in the crib until she leaves for college). Be consistent and don't worry, she won't remember any of this- the stuff she'll need therapy for won't happen until she's 3. ;) Good luck!
I know nothing about nothing here, but I'm going say something anyway. Part of the deal with being a parent is keeping them as close to your heart as you can. And at the same time, teaching them to trust themselves and their own capacities. Teaching them to be indedpendent of you. Putting you at heart wenching odds with yourself. She can spend the night in her own bed. She _can_ do it. Read up on it. Decide how to handle it. Then stick with it. Because you can do it. And you'll both be better off once you're out the other end of this. Believe it -- it's true. And when I come back and it's my turn to go through this or something just like it, you go ahead and tell me the same thing. Deal?
Let her scream as long as it takes. It's hard and it sucks and I hate it. Pants has to leave the house. But we've done it and it doesn't take long, but it's always more nights than you would prefer.
The nuk and the animals is cute and loving - she loves them and is giving them something soothing that they would enjoy.
aargh. I'm pretty much the *last* person on the planet who has anything valuable to offer here, except this: if anything I'm way *too* trusting, I always absolutely believe that my parents will be there for me no matter what, and I know that they let me cry myself to sleep instead of "rescuing" me when my cries became too heart-rending.
So if that helps you believe that you're not permanently damaging her ability to trust, then I'm glad. But I do have total sympathy for you, because even I, who have not a maternal bone in my entire body, want nothing more than to fix it when they cry like that.
hope sprout is better
about Scilla, great catalog
www.mzbulb.com
For Cordy, we used a timed approach. Put her in her crib, left, waited five minutes. If she was still screaming at five minutes, we went in to comfort her (not picking her up, just pats on the back and soothing noises). Left again, waited 10 minutes this time, then went in again if she was still upset.
It took about three nights, and then she learned that the crib was not a scary place. Teaching them to go to sleep on their own is hard. We've been lucky that Mira picked it up with few problems - I usually put her to bed awake and she stretches out and goes to sleep on her own.
Good luck. It's hard, but it's only a few nights and then it gets much easier. Teaching good sleep habits is worth it in the end.
Post a Comment